Updated: Nov 18
Hello beautiful soul!
Have you ever struggled to let go of the old, wished you were someone else, or hoped your life would turn in a different direction?
If so, don't stress. I'm here to help.
Here you will learn the most effective way to create a better, new version of yourself, using methods that have been discovered and tested by yours truly.
First and foremost, to put it as simply as possible, the most effective way to create a new you is to get clear on who you want to be, and then always behave as that person would.
In other words, get clear on your new identity and align with it.
Or in other words, define who you want to be and stay in character.
To help you do so, I've compiled a list of the 5 perfect steps to get you from where you are now to where you want to be.
Step 1: Get clear on who exactly it is you want to be, and from this moment on, always behave the way that person would.
What does your ideal self look like? What habits does that person have? Where does that person go? Take some time to reflect on these questions and write your answers down.
Remember that it's ok to let go of the old you. You don't have to identify as who you've been up until now, because identity is ever-changing as it's really nothing more than what we choose to identify as.
Personality traits and beliefs are just repeated thoughts and actions, so to change them, get clear on what you want to change and then always act in alignment with that. This simultaneously aligns you with the version of yourself you want to be, and allows you to let go of the past, however painful it may have been.
Step 2: Get clear on how you can change the things you don't like
Since you're trying to create a new you, this implies that there is something about the current you, soon to be old you, that you want to change. Having some planned methods to facilitate your goals is a great aid for changing the things you don't like about yourself.
So even though step 1 says to get clear on your new identity and align with it, there is a possibility you'll mess up. And that's okay. That's when looking to these planned methods will come in handy.
For example, say you want to change the fact that you're lazy so you want the new you to be an active person. How do you plan on doing that? Is there a yoga class nearby you could sign up for? Is there a friend you could arrange hikes with on Saturdays? Is there an at home workout plan you could use as a guideline?
The more prepared you are to make these changes the easier they'll come.
Step 3: Get rid of any objects keeping you in the past
This is another action that played a major role in becoming the new and improved me.
Since I had a really hard time growing up, there were many objects in my home that were tied to some really negative memories.
Although it's totally possible to change our associations with certain things, I found it much easier to just get rid of anything that put me in a negative headspace. For example, whenever I would walk by a high school yearbook it was really hard to not dwell on all the bad memories from that time. One day, I realized that it was ok to throw them out to help me move on-so that's exactly what I did.
I also got rid of all the worn out and ugly clothing in my wardrobe, and purchased new clothes that aligned with the new me. (The new me is comfortable, well-dressed, and doesn't buy clothes she never wears.) I also redecorated my room-filling it with images and objects that made me think happy thoughts, which also helped me align with my new identity.
Letting go of old items is a great way to let go of the past, and letting go of the past is crucial for creating a new you that you are satisfied with.
Step 4: Write out how your life would look and feel if all your wildest dreams were guaranteed.
Spend some time thinking about how your life would look if all your wishes came true. Where would you live? What activities would you engage in? What lifestyle would you have? Are there certain trips you'd go on? Certain jobs you'd have? Certain goals you'd reach? Would you want to start a family?...etc. Answer as descriptively as possible. This will help you seek out opportunities that are in line with your vision.
Step 4: Make a 5 year plan, keeping steps 1,2, and 4 in mind
This is hands down the most important step. Doing this changed my life.
As Dr. Joe Dispenza said, "The most effective way to predict your future is to create it." So that's what this step is here for.
A little sense of direction can get us so much farther than we ever would have thought, and so many people overestimate what they can do in 1 year but underestimate what they can do in 5. That's why it's a good idea to write out a 5 year plan.
In this 5 year plan, I want you to give yourself a date by when you want to accomplish each goal of yours. Then, I also want you to jot down all future possibilities that you may want to pursue, even if you're not sure of them yet.
For example, as you can see in the sloppy example of my 5 year plan on the left, I wrote down what my future could look like if I got in to law school. If I do get in, obviously this plan is not set in stone, but it will help a lot to move forward knowing what my options are. Plus, seeing what my yearly schedule would look like if I got in has given me an idea of how I would manage dancing around the world if I got in. This is a dream of mine that I've had for a long time, and writing out this plan helped me organize how I would manage both dreams of being a dancer and a law student. Turns out I wouldn't have to give one up for the other.
I'd also like to add that this 5 year plan is a great idea for anyone to make, but especially for young women, because it's important to have your life together by 30 if you want to start a family. Everyone's fertility declines with age, so it's good for everyone to have their kids while they're young, but women have a harsher cut off than men, so they don't have as much time as men to get things done if they want to have kids. Even though both male and female fertility decline with age, and it is possible for women to conceive naturally in their late thirties and early forties, the chances become much lower for women as time goes on. This means you shouldn't bank on the fact that you can get pregnant naturally at 38, because not everyone can.
I'm writing this now at age 24, almost 25, regretting not having had much direction sooner. No one tells you how quickly your youth slips through your fingers, and that this moment is the youngest you'll ever be.
That's why it's crucial to get clear on your plan now, travel the world now, feel happiness now, and seize the day now-especially if you want to start a family. Life changes a lot when you have kids to take care of, so don't miss the chance to capitalize on the freedom and opportunities you have when you're young.
Of course, this is not to suggest that everyone needs to have kids, or can't adopt, or can't make it in the business world or enjoy life after having kids. It's just a gentle reminder that life is simpler before being responsible for a whole human being, and time is of the essence regardless of whether you want children or not.
Fortunately for you, since I was feeling generous, I created a FREE printable worksheet for you to do to these exercises.
It's much more aesthetically pleasing than the sloppy handwritten one I created for myself, lol.
Just click on the file below to open up your free gift.